Friday, August 26, 2011

Elul – 40 days to a New You in a New Year

Our secular New Year is a time for setting goals. We wake up all the sudden and want to make a change. We make resolutions- and think of ways we are going to better ourselves. January 1st comes and we resolve to… be a better person, go to the gym everyday, etc. Rosh HaShanah asks slightly different questions of us… What needs to be fixed or repaired to help us live our best life with others in the coming year?

Whatever question you ask, the problem usually isn’t the coming up with the answer but rather how can I follow through and make it, whatever your it is, happen?

Elul. Elul is the secret. Elul is an underutilized, little known gift. So what is Elul? Elul is the month before Tishri. It is 30 days that can change your life, literally. Each morning, in a traditional shul, the shofar is blown. We don’t wait until Rosh HaShana to hear its clarion call, instead we use it to wake us up from our spiritual slumber, a little bit at a time. This way by the time the gates close as symbolized by the Ne’ilah service of Yom Kippur afternoon, we will be a different person than we are today. We will be awake.

How can we use this gift? I recommend picking one aspect of your life you want to change, one thing you want to do better. It can be a really big thing, or something tiny. It can be something you want to do more of or something you want to do less of. Something you want to start doing, or something we want to stop doing.

Whatever you choose, 30 days is the perfect amount of time to make it a new habit.

Earlier in the summer I decided to eliminate Gluten and Dairy from my diet. In the book I am using as my guide Dr.Mark Hyman suggests eliminating these two items for 6 weeks, 42 days. In doing so you can discover if your body can process them or if you have an allergy or intolerance. If you do, 6 weeks is enough time to heal your body from past damage and to experience life without gluten and dairy. At first it was hard, and I live with two people who have to be on a gluten free diet, so I thought it wouldn’t be so bad. I would make mistakes and eat something that had diary in it without even thinking about it. Then it got easier and now I’m thinking about staying this way for a while.
Research varies – I’ve read it takes a minimum of three weeks to form a habit, some sources say 28 days and others 40 days.

So how do we pick. One way is to think about a trait you want to cultivate. Generousity- Nedivut. Decide to give one thing away everyday for 40 days. Give away $40 dollars a day, or $400 a day. Pick 40 different charities and write 40 checks. Try to write one a day, not 40 all at once. Get into the daily habit of giving.

You want to be more sync with nature. Brown bag your lunch for 6 weeks. Get a reusable wrapper, a eco-friendly tote. Think of something you can do daily. Of course it is good to change your lightbulbs to more energy efficient ones, but once you have done that, it is done. But how about composting your leftovers, or turning off the lights, riding your bike to work or to run errands. Something you do everyday.

Eating is always my favorite daily activity. So deciding to eat or not eat a certain food can be a daily habit.

I think writing more will really help me to grow as a rabbi, so that is probably what I’m going to do this year. I did it with a lot of success in Elul about three years ago. If I could write for ½ hour each day or 3 pages, I would be very excited.

Maybe you’ve been thinking about exercising or walking or taking vitamins. Maybe you would like to phone a friend and catch up with the people who have drifted into the periphery. Pick 40 friends, and call one each day.

Let me know what you decide to you.

But the gift of Elul doesn’t stop after 30 days, we are given an extra ten days to solidify our new habit, and this time we feel the support of our community. Through our communal prayer on Rosh HaShana, Shabbat Shuvah and then again on Yom Kippur, through our holiday meals surrounded by family and friends, we are able to make our hope, our resolution into a reality. And remember this is a time of forgiveness.
So if you miss the mark and don’t do it everyday for the 40 days, forgive yourself.

Enjoy the gift of Elul.